Sometimes we get pissed off at America. “America,” we say, when we feel like we are being tested, “Why do you make so many mean people, and stupid people, and arrogant people, and fat people, and unfriendly cashiers?” And America is like, “You’re just jealous,” because America knows that will always stump us, even though it doesn’t really make any sense. But then there are some moments when we are so glad we live in the U.S. of A. Because it is a meritocracy! A land where your dreams can be achieved, as long as you want it enough! And as long as you own a formal gown in a cool “icy” color, such as ivory, silver, light-gray, slate, ice-blue, ice-violet, and are basically thin and blond and white or you know, white-acting:

Central Casting NY is seeking Non-Union talent with elegant, full-length formal wear to work as background in an upcoming episode of Gossip Girl. We are currently seeking women who can portray Upper East Side types between the ages of 18 and 28 with formal gowns in cool “icy” colors such as ivory, silver, light grey, slate, ice blue, ice violet, etc.

And sometimes, just sometimes, America ups the ante and hands you a chance to really make something of yourself!

And sometimes she gives it to your FUCKING co-editor:

We are also seeking gentleman who can portray 18-28 y/o with full traditional black tuxedos with ivory or buff colored vests.

Sorry, we got a little overexcited there. But you know, it’s fine. Some people are just meant to hang around in the background for a little while, because some people’s special chances come later in life. Some people just have different paths, you know. Because it’s all a journey.

Nice article. Thanks. Eugene

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